Over the past four years, I've been dating this guy on and off, and we've only had sex about three times, all of which have been when I was drunk. I always try everything i can to seduce him, but he wont sleep with me when I'm sober. He is a total FA, and is attracted to me, but he just won't be intimate with me. I spend a lot of time sleeping over at his house, and sleeping in the same bed, but it never goes past cuddling. Whenever I try to address the problem outside of the bedroom, he shuts me out and will ignore me for weeks. Other than sex, I've had a real connection with this guy, but I can't see moving any farther with him if I can't get any! Do you know why he would act this way, or how i should go about it?
The three times you had sex were when you were drunk? It would be more consistent with his shyness and refusal if it was he only loosened up when he was wasted, which as you and I both know, is the mating call of the closeted FA.
I guess there's too many holes here to plug for me to give you a definitive answer, but here are the questions: what makes you sure he's a "total FA" and attracted to you? Has he successfully had sex more than three drunk times with other girls (fat or thin)? Was anything else different about the circumstances where you were drunk? And what excuses does he give when you're trying to seduce him?
Here's what it sounds like to me: any guy who ignores you for weeks if you confront him, leads you on and only has sex with you when you're drunk is a type-A asshole. Even if he began fucking you regularly and happily, this terrible communicator does not sound like a prize.
If you sleep over that often and you really want an answer, he deserves to be confronted straight up: "Have you ever noticed we've only had sex when I was drunk? Why won't you take my come-ons seriously when I'm not? I want you to tell me if I'm wasting my time."
But I'll answer that last one for you: yes.