Friday, October 9, 2009

conflict of interest alert

spoke to beth ditto about music then fat

Friday, July 3, 2009

Do thin/average/athletic girls do anything for you?


How much does fat factor into whether you like a girl or not?

-Just Ethel

About as much as being thin factors into how much most guys like a girl I suppose. It's sort of like being around other members of your gender if you're a zero on the Kinsey scale; it's not that you're revolted or find them unattractive so much as it won't even occur to you to think about them sexually at all. With exceptions of course; even "normal" guys fuck a fatty now and then - and don't hate it. A Kinsey zero myself I occasionally notice an exceptionally attractive dude (usually named Rhett Miller) and I occasionally crush on an exceptionally pretty thin girl (does Nigella Lawson count?). I've even dated a few.

Even if the girl was as stunning as a one-chinned organism ever looks, at this point in my life I'd question the long-term prospects of such a relationship. With a sex life devoid of fat asses, I reckon I'd start coveting everyone I see leaving an Ashley Stewart or Wal-Mart. And probably grow to resent the thin girl from standing in the way of my passion/preference/perversion.

And another issue: I identify as a fat admirer and I'm out about it to family, friends, and the various colleagues I'll be tweeting this update to when we go live. I wouldn't be able to just fake being something I'm not, or stop hanging out with my fat community friends, or stop going to BBW events (or stop writing this blog for that matter). And this hypothetical thin girl would have to be extraordinarily understanding to tolerate her boyfriend's participation with a culture she's not obligated to put up with, not to mention the occasional 400+ lb. houseguest. What girl, thin or otherwise, would want to be with someone knowing his attraction is despite her body? And that everyone he knows is aware as well?
Sure I find thin girls attractive. But that pursuit in the long-term would be unlikely indeed.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

I want fat sex. I want my jiggly bits rubbed and squished and fondled sexually. He knows I'm the most frisky after he gives me all-over massages but it's not sexual for him, it's the whole nurture-love thing. I feel a lot of my body is ignored. And at 5' and 260lbs, that's a lot!

So I've turned to posting on FA-focused image boards to get my "fat sex" fantasies out and make a little money on the side (sometimes). I just don't know how to describe fat sex to my boyfriend. I don't want to cheat on him to get what I want and feel I need and I would hate it if he was just going through the motions.

My question is- is there a solution? A half-way point? A way to try to get him to become an FA. He's always feeding me fattening foods (and making sure I eat healthy too so he's not a "feeder") but it makes me think there's an FA inside him that he might not even know is there. He claims he gets me these treats to make me happy but I think it's so I don't lose too much weight. I'm on a medicine that keeps me pretty much at this weight and while he encourages me to get down to 200 (still big) I have a feeling he doesn't want me to go below that. I mention 100 lbs as something a doc recommended and he almost seems repulsed by the idea.

I think there's an FA in him. He's no closet case. We are very affectionate in public and he proudly announces me as his girlfriend at every opportunity. And introduces me as such. I want to bring out his inner FA if there is one that I think there is. Any suggestions?

-Big Fat Sexy Kitty

Not sexual for him, eh? That's a pretty lousy reason to not grant your lady's requests in bed. And ironically enough, the stuff he's turning down--like pleasuring himself between your rolls--would be more directly erogenous for him than you. He sounds like he needs a clue, so show him a few. Image boards; great. Call him over to the screen and point to some direct diagrams you want him to reenact with you on the floor. If you don't speak up, your assumptions will only lead to paranoia and make you nuts, like your silly worry that by granting your wishes he'd only be going through the motions (in plenty of cases, partners will begin to get turned on themselves to activity they observe their partner getting off on so enthusiastically). being upfront with the dude is best. You need this stuff in bed, you're rationalizing Ways Not to Cheat, he'd probably better start doing stuff that's "not sexual for him."

This're being wishful and reading way too hard into a guy who doesn't sound much like an FA. Feeding you fattening and healthy foods? Isn't that...both kinds of food? He prefers them over 100 and under 200? Isn't that...most guys? Acknowledging his girlfriend's existence in public? Isn't that...anyone who's not an asshole retard? I don't think you're with an FA, dude. I think you're with a nice guy who appreciates you regardless. He needs to be more attentive to the spots you're directing his hands (you are directing his hands, right?), but you can't turn him into something he's not.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Polled 134 women in the BBW community on "What's the worst trait a male FA could have?" and here's how the results stacked out:

Approximately 39% said: Closeted (avoids introducing you to friends and family or possibly seeing you in public at all)
17% said: Size criticism (telling women they're too small or not big enough)
15% said: Creepy (sends you unsolicited misspelled or inappropriate messages, sometimes repeatedly)
11% said: Promiscuity (slept with - or tries to sleep with - everyone you know)
5% said: Unsatisfactory penis size (just to put the boot on the other foot)
5% said: Other (something not mentioned here)
4% said: Poor fatiquette (walks too fast when you're out or selects restaurants with tiny booths)
1% said: Lets self become unattractive (please choose this only if it's the person's own fault)

The most alarming stat was the that last one, it doesn't bode well for the stereotype of fat girl desperation that voters would put up with their partner not taking care of themselves or maintaining the body their other half loves. But by a landslide - thank fuck - 39% are not so desperate that they'd knowingly put up with an FA who'd hide them from friends and family. As one reader puts it, "closet cases are the worst by far. The rest are avoidable/ignorable...closet isn't always as obvious until it's too late. Closet cases aren't always 'come over my house at midnight to fuck so I don't have to be seen in public with you.' Sometimes its more like, all the sudden you realize it's been 10 dates and you haven't met any of their friends yet."

I pegged creepiness higher but I guess those guys don't really make it to the dating stage do they (though a few do). Size criticism of women came in higher than expected and doesn't quite jive with the 1% of gals who'll put up with however their man looks. Really, ladies, you have the right to a preference just like we do, and we use it, trust me. Doesn't excuse us telling you how you should look to suit us though. Dudes need to reject more politely, not matter-of-factly tell someone to gain a few, which is just as obnoxious as telling someone to lose some first, fat-positive subculture or no fat-positive subculture.

Some of the comments for 'other':

"For me, the worst personal thing I've come up with for guys is the whole fact that they want to live online and not in real life. I have no desire to just 'talk' about sexy stuff and/or meet ups with people, I want to do it, and yet the few guys who have contacted me only want to live in some fantasy land that stays on the net."

"Someone I know told me recently that one of the things that annoy them is the number of people online who talk a good game about being a FA, and yet this all exists in their head, as they've never actually dated a fat person before. They're like 'put up or shut up,' and I have to say, I agree. I don't mind staying in fantasy land if someone is up front about it, but why so many keep up the illusion that one day they'll move from make-believe to reality is beyond me."

"Has anyone ever done a study to determine where FAs place in terms of mean salary? I'm guessing it would be below average, sadly. Most (not all, but most) financially successful men care obsessively about image, and would be most vulnerable to peer pressure about the type of women they 'should' be worth. Poorer men are often more independent, sooner to flout conventional rules and social strictures -- but that tends not to advance their careers."

"The type that bugs me most is the one who is so completely ruled by his 'FA-ness' that he can't focus on anything else - everything revolves around how much he loves fat and the effects/consequences of the point of mind-numbing boredom that makes me want to jump out a window. When EVERYTHING is about my being fat. All conversation, all sex, all activities. I'm a person who happens to be fat. Fat does not define who I am."

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Is there any difference between 'thin' sex and 'fat' sex? I ask because one of the people who'd previously posed a question said they enjoyed one over the other. Don't thin people shag like fat ones do??


Some female readers are already on the case: "To me, the difference between 'regular' sex and fat sex lies in the focus. A BBW and a non-FA partner probably engage in typical sex where he focuses on her breasts, hips, butt and avoids her big belly and other wobbly parts."

As opposed to?

"One word: frottage. Okay, two words: fat frottage."

They're both right. The difference is whether or not you choose to ignore a great amount of your partner's body in bed or embrace it, which could mean anything from belly rubs to well, belly sex.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I know it's just a simple question but... Do you have any tips for someone who told their girlfriend about their sexuality from the get-go and wants to convince her that it's actually not that important to him? I've covered the "yes, I'm serious" step, it's just that it's not something I want her to dwell upon and be self-conscious about. Thanks!


Well, how's she taking it? I think you're in the clear unless you know, you dwell on it. You let her know and now it's up to her if she has any questions. If it really concerns you that she barely identify you with it, be warm and receptive if she brings it up but otherwise leave it be. If she's actually acting self-conscious, demonstrate in non-verbal ways that you're serious. Protect her waist with your arm. Don't neglect her fatty parts in bed. Be attentive to her reactions and adjust your behavior if she gets weird about it. And just to tack it on here again, "don't be creepy" is always a good rule of thumb.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I'm not on the cusp. I'm one hundred percent a fat girl. As far as I know I've never been with a guy who identifies as an FA, bit I have known several and am good friends with a handful, to the point where we've discussed their taste in women. Here's my question: do you think that there's possibly a bit of a gap in the continuum, between like 'Fat' and 'FAT.', where a girl is just frankly too fat for any 'regular' guy (non-FA), but completely not fat enough for an FA to ever be interested? Because at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure that's where I reside. Bodily speaking I've really got all the parts - huge belly, big old ham thighs, backrolls, the works. But altogether as a package I just fail to take up as much room as any of the fat women I know to whom FAs flock like swallows to Capistrano. I've even asked FAs whom I know if they would ever think I'm attractive (awkward, I realize, but less so in context), and whether it's deflection or not the answer I always get is: "You've got a great personality (etc), but I like women who are larger than you. Sorry! *noogie* Let's go get a beer, sport." Now I know the 'great personality' line is pretty much guyspeak for 'your face gives me dry heaves but you also tell funny jokes sometimes', but focusing on the fat aspect:...

Just asking: as a guy who likes fat chicks and who presumably networks with other guys who do, honestly: is there any hope for me? Because if there is, I know it's definitely not emanating from the non-FA end of the spectrum. Again, I am just way, way too fat for any of them. The FA end is the one I'm holding out hope for.

With that said, however, feel free to crush that hope if necessary.

-Fat? Fat.

I hope this blog doesn't turn into people just emailing to ask "is there hope for me?" because a) I don't know any of you and b) I could never tell anyone to just stop looking, you're hopeless. If I knew someone who was hopeless, I'd be able to identify why they're hopeless (body odor, prior sex offenses, sociopathic behavior) and give it to them straight, provided they won't kill me.

No need to crush that hope; there's not actually someone for everyone but that doesn't put you on one side or the other. I don't know if your face will make me dry-heave because I've never seen it, but your email displays a fair amount of personality so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you just Haven't Found One Yet.

That said, some of info you gave me is confusing or conflicted: you've never been with anyone who identifies as an FA but you also stated you're too fat for non-FAs. Because you said "as far as I know" and not "I've never had a date" I'm going to assume you've successfully dated a few non-FAs, actually! Then the issue of your size...I don't know what size you are exactly, but left to guess, I doubt the universe lined it up so you're at some one-in-a-million exact height/weight cutoff for FAs/non-FAs. More likely you just haven't found one yet.

So here are some suggestions. If you are indeed positive it's your size or shape that's unattractive, why not try toning exercises, not to slim down, but maybe to make your fat more shapely? I know people in the 300-400 lb. range who work out to retain their shape. I've never exercised in my life except for the occasional crunch, but I think squats shape your butt and push-ups do your chest. But before you do that even, if you have as good platonic relationships with your FA friends as you say, grant them amnesty (if you promise not to ask them out) and ask them if it's your face or some weird mole you haven't told me about or what. It's possible you're just too small for them but I find it hard to believe based on your history that non-FAs are off the table entirely if you're really that not-fat-enough. Oh, and keep looking.

EDIT: this reader has identified herself to me and I assure that she's perfectly cute. Either looking in the wrong places or she must smell horrible.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

So, here's a question: how much of the fat attraction is a taboo response to the 'obesity epidemic' rhetoric and the whole puritan hangup on pleasure/leisure in US society?

BTW, I'm making no claim one way or the other about this, just curious to see how you interpret this hypothesis.


This subject fascinates me greatly and I'm interested at writing about it at length in the future, but here's the tip of the iceberg: this question is a big asterisk in my feelings on the fetish/preference debate. Shitty, yeah, but allow me to wax theoretical. Because I do believe that besides the internet, the other component of exponential growth in the fat community is that fat is more extremely, violently taboo in 2009 than it ever has. In the preceding decade, anorexia and bulimia and "heroin chic" and diet pills entered the mainstream lexicon. The 1990s also desensitized my generation to so-called taboo "sex," with the internet the final nail in the adult-filter coffin, resulting in the availability of the scantily clad female body everywhere from magazine shelves to MySpace. Except all the viewable sex is thin and fit, and visible body fat has been relegated to pornography in itself. I don't think the cumulative rise in the number of self-identified fat admirers since is coincidental, though plenty of fat admirers would disagree and claim to just like what they like. The desensitizing of thin sexuality has given fatness a notoriety that causes closet FAs to take thin wives as a cover from their families, private sector colleagues and themselves (any number of fatties I know could tell you stories of finding out they're the other woman).

I'm also interested in researching the even more preposterous claim of my own that beauty is cyclical; that fat is making a comeback very, very slowly for different reasons than when it was first popular a hundred-or-so years ago for representing power and wealth. Being fat in 2009 supposedly represents the lower class, dovetailing with unfortunate perceptions of blacks and Latinos and a base "consumer" culture that you can supposedly avoid if you're white and can afford a Bally's membership or digest Fast Food Nation. But black culture is the most imitated in America and around the late 90s, Latin culture (and J.Lo - famous for her unconventional body - in particular) has become a marketable obsession as well. As is the wont of a world where the privileged obsess over the unattainable credibility and freedom of the less so, it's not entirely foolish to suggest fat could be next.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Hi, I’m one of those on-the-cusp, chubby-but-not-huge girls and I had my first and so far only encounter with an Fat Admirer in the past year.

You know those jokes people tell that aren’t really jokes? I’ve kidded around with friends since adolescence that I’d die and go to heaven if I met a fat fetishist. Deep down, I secretly knew that I wasn’t kidding, although I really hoped that I was. Mostly, I did not want to admit to myself that I’d been harboring desires that might be deemed weird or, worse yet, might be excruciatingly difficult to satisfy, given the relative paucity of FAs in this world. Anyway, I was forced to acknowledge my secret predilection recently when I finally met an FA, whose proclivities were initially unknown to me until he had me in his bedroom. This FA introduced me to the concept of “fat sex,” which seemingly detonated all of the pleasure-centers in my brain at once. I felt something click, so to speak, as if I’d been waiting my whole life for someone to want to be squashed by my big ass, rub up against my flabby tummy, squeeze all my squishier bits, and so forth. Long story short: I think I might be an admirer of Fat Admirers, or fetishist of fat fetishists.

How do I meet more Fat Admirers, especially ones in my age range (early-to-mid-20s) and geographical region? The internet? Super-secret in-person enclaves?

Since my time with this FA, I’ve only met a succession of guys who find me attractive because they do not consider me prohibitively fat, or who are willing to overlook or ignore my fat because I have some conventionally attractive traits (i.e. I’m pretty, intelligent, and have big tits). That is to say – business as usual. I’ve tried having “thin sex” again but it’s no longer satisfying to me now that I’ve experienced what I apparently prefer. Asking my “normal” partners to replace or supplement “thin sex” with “fat sex” has also proven to be a futile endeavor. Guys either get really freaked out by what I'm requesting -- even when my suggestions are fairly innocuous -- or they honor my requests but are obviously just "going through the motions" out of a sense of obligation.

Should I gain a ton of weight to repulse more normal guys and allure more chubby chasers?

My questions have been a little sex-obsessed. I should mention that I’d be even more interested in dating a Fat Admirer than merely hooking up with one if I happened to meet the right person.


Frustrated Chub

You shouldn't have to gain "a ton of weight" to get the attention of more chubby chasers, FC. If you found one already, and you found this blog, you can find more. But definitely go with your instincts and ignore the dudes you'd be settling for. It's awfully nice of them to look past your on-the-cuspness, but you clearly long for passion--which you described as a detonation point--over politeness, which you noted an "obligation" and "business as usual." Keep doing what you're doing honestly, you sound determined and not held back by any delusions about your body or the men you've been finding.

The only advice I can offer (not that dissimilar to advice I offered a good friend with a similar query this week), is to be more shrewd in your pursuit. Put in your personal ads that an FA is mandatory and list the requirements you said above and all their squeezing and squashing detail. Craigslist is as teeming with FAs as anywhere else, though I can't attest to their quality, and for fat-oriented sites, the Dimensions Forums (check the Events forum) and pornier Fat Forums are thriving communities that generally weed out pricks better than others.

And if you do end up on a date with a polite non-FA, put him up to the challenge. Most of my female buddies can identify unquestionable FAs in their life who simply haven't researched the terminology on the internet, and clueless is better than closet. Why would they agree to a date with someone they don't want to squeeze? You may well be mistaking a good 'un's freaking out for shyness, though prudes are just as plentiful as noobs. One thing though: don't call them fat fetishists, which will freak 'em out more. Good luck.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm a fellow FA, and my girlfriend is right on the edge of normal and plus-sized. We've been together a few years and I'm getting pretty sure that she's the one, but she really resents the fact that I'm an FA. It's an issue you touched on in a previous response: the "Am I fat enough?" issue. I find all kinds of fat chicks from a little chubby to really huge attractive, but she assumes that bigger is always better since I'm an FA. Now granted I do have weightgain fantasies regarding her but that's just my lower brain's idea of "best possible thing that could happen without concern for real life consequences." We've had a frank and honest discussion about the issue but I think she's still really uneasy about it, and despite everything probably (still) thinks I'll leave her the minute I find a gigantic woman or something. Any advice?


If she resents you being an FA, she probably resents being on the cusp of plus-sized even more. I've been in your shoes and from my experience, the bigger girls who long ago accepted being fat have had less qualms about staying that way (and weightgain fantasies in particular) than the on-the-fence girls who just know they'll be just purrrfect once they skirt those meddlesome 20, 30 lbs. You can either give her trust issues time to dissolve and see if she's still neurotic years from now, or throw up your hands sooner.

Note to girlfriend about said weightgain fantasies: when someone chooses to date you, it's assumed he or she likes you at that weight. Weightgain is not a "fulfillable" fetish, you don't reach XX pounds and boyfriend is cured of his kink, so girlfriend needs to accept that 1) she'll be doing her share of fantasy work and 2) you don't actually need her to change.

Normally I'd say that she also needs to accept that you identify as a Fat Admirer. But being mid-sized is a tough spot; if you were to bring her to BBW events she'd feel out of place and paranoid, and she could be understandably poky about even being referred to as "fat" if she's not actually. Don't routinely rub in something she could see as a deficiency on her part. If you're choosing to date her rather than a full-blown fatty, take a break from full-blown Fat Admiration.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Is this because you think you can't do any better?


Yes, but not in the way you're thinking.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dear aguywholikesfatchicks,

Why do so many FAs seem afraid to ask supersized girls out in person? I always get hit on online, but in person, unless I'm at a BBW bash, it rarely happens. Is it my personality, is my ass just too freaking big, or are many just giant pussies? What's up?


Your ass is just too freaking big, BBM. Nah, we really are giant pussies. It's a great shame that the FA/BBW social dynamic is so one-sided; you ladies deserve a level playing field like the skinnies. Not being able to know who's into what is one of the many tasteless parallels I'll continue to make between fat culture and gay culture, but at least they have rainbows and triangles and leather rocket launchers to clue you in. I'd like to take this space to propose that the chunky plus sign symbol discussed by many a fattylover (including myself and Ms. AnnMarie) officially be put into action finally. I want to see t-shirts, bumper stickers, subway graffiti, completely fagged-out fatties dressed like math problems. Make it so - kthx. People like BBM here would like to know who you are.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

What's the best way to get a fat girl to put out?


Cupcakes. Anyone offended by that answer is such a big fucking liar.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Why is body size less of any issue in queer female communities, supposedly? Is that biology over environment, too?


More like empathy over stupidity. Not that there's anything wrong with having a preference but the well-documented alliance of a fat/queer nexus is at least refreshingly free of "one right answer" to the beauty question. They get better PR too; see how many of your normal friends know what a "bear" is and I bet not a fucking one of them has heard of an "FA."

Thursday, February 19, 2009

How do you ask a girl if she is pregnant, or "just hot"?


With a death wish?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

OK, here's the biggest issue of most single fat admirers - How does an FA approach a new BBW and show interest in a way that gets past the reservations that have been inbred by our society? I know what my answer has historically been to this question but I'm suggesting you might want to use and reply to it.


O Great Observational One, all I know, if I know anything in my 24 short years is, if you're going to do something, be sincere and be persistent. In romantic cases, triangulate this advice with another good rule of thumb: whatever you do, don't be creepy. Make being the opposite of creepy your main objective. In anything really; coming clean to a girlfriend about your weird fetish isn't actually creepy in itself, do everything in your power to keep that so when communicating. If a girl tells you you are being creepy, heed her words, figure out what you did, and zap it.

That was a half-tangent, half-disclaimer. But yeah, convincing a fat girl you Really Like Her (Who, me? Yes, you!) is the usual social balancing act. Ask her out and be sincere. If she's not yet educated that People Like You Exist OMG, do your best to take responsibility for and not scar her for life and ruin her opinion of us for the next one who comes along. Have a pair and be able to introduce her to your friends or family members, take her to public places, meet your Pilates instructor, whatever the normies do. If you can sustain [{Sincerity + Persistence ÷ Creepy} x Balls = ∑] you will eventually debrick that wall - one of my exes thought for months I was "just being nice." Just don't be reckless. Oh, and defending your fatty's honor when the time arises (and usually it does), is always a good look.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Your link to hogging made me sad. What exactly is the difference between plain ol' hogging versus "sweat-hogging?" I'm asking you instead of googling it myself because I'm hoping you'll break it to me gently.

- A sad fat chick

They're the same thing.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dear Guy Who Likes Fat Chicks, Why is it that bellies are so beautiful?

Frisky in Frisco

FIF, they're soft, they're decadent, they represent a life well-lived, and they look good in motion.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Is it easy for you to tell when a fat woman is feeling insecure upon a first meeting? Have any been able to hide it well, at first?

-Green Eyed Fairy

It's not really hard to tell, but girls can be wily about making their feelings known. I knew she was shy but had no idea how precisely terrified my longest-term ex was when we first kissed - her first ever - until I read about it in a short story she wrote. Of course, "insecure" is hardly limited to girls with panic disorders. Some BBW webmodels I've met are among the most neurotic women I've ever known. That's not a knock on any of them though, just a remind that girls who take their clothes off are human too. Maybe more than most. Anyway, everyone knows it's the guys who hold their exes responsible for their whole miserable lives that are least secure of all.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Is it true that fat girls are better at giving blowjobs than normal chicks? (A question I've actually been asked before)


I cannot tell a lie - I've had pretty respectable blowjobs from girls of all sizes. Fat girls give the best cuddles by a longshot, though.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Is it because fat girls are easy?


If only. Try convincing an archetypal "easy" fat girl to do it with the light on or let you play with her belly or refer to her as "fat" without sobbing and trying to throw up the nice dinner you bought her. Spend weeks convincing her you're Not Joking, your buddy's not gonna jump out of the closet with Tucker Max and a camera. Cave and show her your porn collection one night just to draw big red circles around You Not Joking. Watch it backfire into sub-issues like Am I Too Small For You or Do You Only Like Pears. Never ever let her find out what "hogging" is. Fat girls are just as complicated and frustrating as any other earthling.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


I like fat chicks, too. I'm in NYC and I'm wondering if you or your readers are aware of any strip clubs in the area that feature fat chicks. I'm not talking artsy-ass burlesque shows, either - I want a plain old strip club just like the ones I've been dragged to after bachelor parties thrown by skinny chick loving friends: bad music, creepy guys, odd odors, lap dances, overpriced beer, etc.


As a fellow NYCer who just attended the artsy-ass burlesquerie of Dirty Martini, Miasia and (of course) the World Famous BOB at the grand opening of Re/Dress off Boerum Pl. (and enjoyed it quite a bit), I'm afraid to inform that after the usual Googling (re: research) I remain as stumped as you, my friend. Besides the my bedroom (hurr), the only trade secrets I've got are conventional wisdom: LA and the ATL are your hotspots for, respectively, fatcentric clubs and bigger "normal" strippers, and Nancy Goddess' infamous weekly parties in NYC have T, B and A to spare (I'm living proof - one of the girls in the runway show singled out my pasty face to sink her battleships). Short of hiring your own strippers, your best bet is still - until some master fatty-loving entrepreneur heeds our call - going to the official bashes to achieve viewage of the most fatties in the least clothes. Good luck finding overpriced beer in NYC though.

Friday, February 6, 2009

What is the best position in your opinion with a fat girl?

-Whale Wang Willy

All of them, duh. If you're having actual trouble in your fattyfucking pursuits, this is pretty much the best guide extant. Don't be discouraged or embarrassed by everything in the way, ladies and germs; half the fun is all that shuffling around. Just take your time and don't be stabby you're when poking around. Don't be afraid to use pillows if you have to. Depending on the lady's size and shape (and yours), you may not be able to do everything. But you can do more than you think. Find out what works for you and don't get frustrated if that takes a bit.

Me personally, I'm especially fond of girl on top, spooning, and reverse cowgirl. Doggy just barely misses the first tier. I've developed a serious affinity for 69ing. Girl on top, me underneath, warm belly pressing down on me with her ass in my face and my paws around her breasts or stomach or thighs while we suck each other to blastoff? Competing to see who can make it harder for the other to concentrate? Yes, please.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Why are more older men attracted to big women than guys in their 20s?


In high school, forget it. The unlikelihood of meeting a fat admirer coupled with one ready to allow himself the public humiliation coupled with (believe it!) fat girls saying no to protect themselves from the sadly good odds that it's a joke. Forget it.

Why are more older men attracted or why do more older men admit it? They've presumably evolved beyond the need for approval that gets the upper caste through high school and college and will date you. Sometimes they're scared and settling. Sometimes as a result of maturity they're less picky. But a bunch are genuine chubby chasers, either finally ready to admit it or just realizing. It's either a relaxing of standards or acquiring a taste. And if they've always been into fatties, it means their balls have finally dropped.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Why does it seem like white guys aren't attracted to black BBWs, unless it is just for sex?


Speaking strictly in stereotypes, they have nothing in common with their objects of desire. Or at least they think. To cite some anonymous dickbrains from a black chick thread on the infamous BBWchan boards:

"older fat black girls like late 20's and 30's are nicer than late teens or early 20's cause they think they are all that n shit. talking from experience"

"I do know what you're saying. I talk to a lot of late-20's/30's-age black women on account of how friggin' hot I find them and most of them are actually quite easy to get along with and engage in conversation. (I'm white.)"

I also found a bit of armchair sociology: "The reason I don't get excited about black BBW is because there are so many of them in real life."

Watching too much Flavor of Love 2 will do that I guess. Even with a black president, a good portion of white America does not know how to approach black people and start a conversation.

Or as another poster said: "Most cannot handle the awesomeness that are black BBWs. As a white male, I absolutely adore them. Nothing gets me going like a set of big chocolate tits and ass to suck and lick on."

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why are big girls expected to be okay and HAPPY to use their weight during sex, such as facesitting and squashing? Speaking for myself, I'd prefer the kind of sex that would be asked of me if I were skinny.


Then you should lose the weight, Lyric, because you're in for a bummer of a life. Fat sex is had with fat bodies. Those qualities that make you fundamentally different from thinnies are what attract chubby chasers to you in the first place. If thinsex is what you seek...the extra flexibility or a partner who can lift you up and fuck you against a wall, you want to slim down. Big girls are expected to be happy at anything, not just sex, because only perverts want to fuck someone who isn't confident. Your weight is what you have so, at least for the time being, you should use it. Thin people do facesitting too, you know. If you don't want to squash, you should find a more dominant partner, as squashees are usually submissive and want that ultra-confident goddess type to pummel them with her weight and physical power. If you don't decide to lose the weight, you're stuck with what you got, and since any fat admirers you'll be fucking will love it, you might as well learn to as well. Find creative ways to use those crevices and wobbly bits, enjoy the uniqueness of it. Guys with small dicks wish they could have sex like guys with big dicks, you know? At least you're afforded the gym option.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Why is an attraction to big women considered a fetish instead of a preference, such as a woman preferring tall men to short or someone preferring blondes to brunettes? And why do some guys have no problem saying their attraction to big women is a fetish?


Because they're idiots? Fat is marginalized by society as a negative, so maybe in that sense it counts as taboo but it's certainly a preference. I would go as far as to claim it's almost a different orientation in itself, which may anger some of my queer friends, but the physical disparities between say, a 400 lb. person and a 140 lb. partner and what an admirer seeks from either is just that rhetorically different. If anyone grumbles, I'd like a casual fan of 400 lb. partners to pipe up. There are fat-related fetishes, and plenty of ways to fetishize body parts themselves, but just dating and fucking fatties in itself is certainly a preference. I split the line of fetish and preference socially; preferences you tell your friends and colleagues openly and nonchalantly, as you would discuss a predilection for blondes. Fetishes you only tell your closest confidantes, if that. And in that regard, plenty of FAs fetishize it themselves by hiding it.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Yo, Guy who likes fat chicks.

Is the attraction to fat girls based purely on the looks, or do you find fat chicks have a certain something else to them on the personality front? Or is a mix of the two?

A fatty who overthinks things.

They have more in the front, period. Um...the folklore you know, "they're better in bed because they're desperate," "give better head cuz they're hungry," and most plausibly "forced to develop a personality and good sense of humor early on to compensate" all make sense in theory and guarantee nothing. Even the one sticking point I came up with, that they'd all have to be pro-fat at least, crumbles because so many of them hate themselves. There are plenty of fat girls I have time for and plenty I can't stand. So they're just like anyone else. I'm in it for the rolls.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Here's a tough one, if fat is more valued in certain racial/ethnic cultures, then why is there this cultural trope out there that suggests black men prefer fat white women over fat black women?


Let's remove an integer - fat - from both sides of the equation, and we have "Why do black men prefer white women over black women," a stereotype that (surprise!) isn't true. But it's certainly such a meme that Chuck D satirized it in Public Enemy's acute "Pollywanacracka" nineteen years ago, and more recently Kanye in his devious 2005 hit "Gold Digger." It looks like the usual stupidity of "personal research" spread by Sherlocks who were replaced with a white woman at one point in their lives. Like being mugged by a black dude and concluding something new and misguided about black people, this stuff never holds water and people mostly just want to leave ugly experiences behind with the rationale that they at least Learned Something. Plenty of times the opposite is true. Stereotypes are steeped in fear, obviously, and in this case the fear is likely a class divide, as Kanye suggests, that successful black men by this logic consider white women to be an echelon they've ascended to. Or even uglier, Chuck D citing it as a monetary thing.

Lastly, Butch provided a citation if you care to seek it out, that deals with the "fat" aspect, namely a study proving what most people already think (hey, some stereotypes are correct!), that African-Americans are kinder to fat asses than Anglos. But she's quick to note, "overall their size preference for women was no more than a few inches larger than the preferences of white men (the study used college aged men and women, white and black, all straight, to find out what their body preferences were)." That's probably accounted for by the usual majority preferring fitter partners combined with the timid presence of vocal (re: closet) fat admirers.

The study is:
Jackson, Linda A., and Olivia D. McGill. “Body Type Preferences and Body Characteristics Associated with Attractive and Unattractive Bodies by African Americans and Anglo Americans.” Sex Roles 35.5/6 (1996): 295-307.

Thanks, Butch!

EDIT: A reader found the study archived online here but missing the numbers. Thanks Jon Blaze!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Hey Aguywholikesfatchicks,

What's the deal with all this fruit business? Why DO straight male FAs seem to like pear shapes soooo much? I get it, but I don't get it. Know what I mean?


This is not an uncommon grumble from fatties lacking in phatties. First: apples are fruits too! To the uninitiated, fat admirers and fatties alike refer to their body types or preferences by a lookalike fruit even more than the average women's magazine. Apple, pear, calabash squash...and like thinnies we have breast men, ass men...except with more kinds. Belly men, thigh guys, even elbow dimple fiends. Follow a BBW message board long enough and you will notice a vocal prerequisite towards pear shapes, and any thinnie (excepting T-Pain of course) knows about the hormonal majority's overarching desire for more T and A. But why is that?

I spoke with Joe Doyle (Joe D. from Vh1's The Pickup Artist), now a "professional pickup artist" himself, about a factor called "replication value" that may answer your question:

"Men and women both key in on very specific attraction switches," Doyle says. "It's evolutionary psychology dealing with survival and replication value. Women key in on survival value. Evolutionarily speaking, if a woman gets pregnant she will want to align herself with a man that will provide her child with the highest percentage of survival. Men key in on replication value. When a woman with big boobs and large hips walks by men will automatically look even if they aren't into that. Big boobs and large hips are physical traits that convey high replication value. This is why we see young women with older men, these men have the means to provide for these women and therefore these 'trophy wives' are attracted to men twice their age."

If this is correct, there's less probability of finding a belly/apple man because so many of us are hardwired to stare at T & A. But I wouldn't fret; fat admirers wouldn't be fat admirers without a healthy appreciation for the gut, and if girls with small boobs can get by in the equally T&A-obsessed thin dating world you will too.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dear askaguywholikesfatchicks,

Let me ask the obvious: Why do you like fat chicks? If we're going to start somewhere, it might as well be here.

a fat chick

Why, I'm so glad you asked. But the answer is I-don't-know. It's the same I-don't-know that pubescent boys will tell you after waking up strangely soaked from a night of dreaming about...I don't know, Ashley Tisdale. Or a young bud just discovering how much he likes to suck cock. Or an ambitious size queen taking on her first double penetration. MySpace banners and romanticized memes and in a better world bumper stickers may tell you otherwise...there's "more cushion for the pushin" or "more to love" or that it's softer, more to squeeze, etc. (Which is all true) But the reality is that at some point my body started telling me bigger is beautiful. This is not the norm, but hardly an anomaly. With the convenience of my generation's internet availability, I learned earlier than most that I wasn't alone and dispensed with motives to hide or deny my preference. Having had a few years of experience and wild lovemaking, I can assuredly say I like them best because they give me free calendars.

The real question is why are so many fat admirers in denial. I can't tell you how many guys (or gals) there are like me, and a good portion of them being in the closet makes the numbers even fuzzier. People like the guy who was ready to take my 300 lb. friend's virginity but not to introduce her to his not help themselves, to put it mildly. You see, the way it works is that the more of us that make it known that "um, actually I don't think fat=ugly," the less abnormal your friends would think you. Over half the U.S. is considered DUN DUN "overweight." Someone's fucking all the fatties*. Be a sport and let them know.

*contrary to popular belief, it's not me