tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5715099394281529962023-11-15T09:48:01.027-05:00ask a guy who likes fat chicksfor your plumper-related stumpersaskaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-64216792567829185392011-05-26T07:51:00.002-04:002011-05-26T07:58:12.762-04:00just to clarifyIn case anyone's just arriving here from listening to the <a href="http://www.1045snx.com/pages/morningafter.html">West Michigan radio show</a> that interviewed me this morning, I've <a href="http://askaguywholikesfatchicks.tumblr.com/">relaunched</a> this blog on Tumblr, as Camille has helpfully <a href="http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/05/guy_who_likes_fat_chicks_going_to_be_on_the_radio_talking_about_liking_fat_chicks.php">pointed</a> out. You can ask new questions there. This space will remain active, and I might even return to it if Tumblr pisses me off too much, but that's where it's at for now.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-18067103235040965902011-05-14T09:33:00.010-04:002011-05-24T04:28:47.731-04:00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<img src="http://vvoice.vo.llnwd.net/e14//6290173.87.jpg" /><br /><br />so this blog and its humble creator were featured in camille dodero's "guys who like fat chicks" <a href="http://www.villagevoice.com/2011-05-04/news/guys-who-like-fat-chicks">article</a> last week. first a little about that. camille's a wonderful lady DISCLOSUREDISCLOSUREDISCLOSUREALERT for whom i have worked for a few years. she saw pics of my lady + i on facebook and some of my fat-related status updates and was interested in doing a piece on a relatively young generation of males who openly or not-so-openly date beautiful women whom society may or may not be total dicks to. 99.9999999999999999% of the time i would have refused handing my personal life over to the fat-hating media (lol). but i met her in person and she was very sweet and intelligent and flat-out uninterested in the typical media-circus points of fat coverage: porn, fetishes, people dumb enough to go on maury. she wanted to cover the boring stuff because the boring stuff about fat is the story. she wanted to talk to mostly guys (and some women) who talk like normal young perverts who say dumb things like "my dick is punk rock" (thankfully that did not make it into the story) "it's like one giant boob" (that um did). i think it was really funny and i've heard from community outsiders it was insightful and i don't want to brag but i think a few people who normally would not go looking for bodypart-oriented communities are now aware they have the option to be fetishized as ridiculous sex goddesses if they feel like. (that's the cool thing about the """""FAT COMMUNITY""""": you can shut it off, it only exists online!)<br /><br />i'm incredibly proud of this piece for the following reasons:<br /><br />- i'm supposed to save this for the "last but not least" slot but my gf looks smoking the fuck hot on the [almost -ed] cover and her eyes look great and her belly looks great and her dress and arm and butt looks great and that's my luckyfucky hand she's affixing to it with her psychohot grabhand and my lips look great and thank you thank you photographer dude for cropping out as much of my rain-and-humidity-and-baldness-soiled hair as possible<br /><br />- did i mention the cover? fat girl allowed to look beautiful in a beautiful form-fitting dress and everything on the cover of the fucking voice<br /><br />- i'm quoted about boobs about four billion times which makes me sound like this boob-obsessed boob but then camille quotes me saying i'm an "arms guy" which is the only thing she used that made me kind of mad because 1. "i'm an ____ guy" changes pretty much weekly for me (today's special: THIGHS) and 2. i think it's kind of rude and tactless when guys publicly post their shape/size/body part preferences on the net because if you "only date girls 400+" or "extreme pears" then why do i always see you with like 250 lb gurls who look slightly insecure about their apple shape??? okay! tangent!<br /><br />- speaking of objects, i suppose it's time to address the riotsnotdiets audience! we were asked about the parts of women we grab and why we grab them, when we first knew we wanted to grab them, why we think we want to grab them, and how we struggle in our daily lives with friends and family who can't understand why we want to grab them. we were not asked why we like fat girls' brains! fat girl's brains are the same as every other girl's brains! the author did not think there was a difference between fat girls' and thin girls' brains and therefore she did not ask us stuff like "are fat girls smarter/funnier/more grateful after sex" - i told you she's a smart lady! she knows the only difference between fat girls and thin girls is that they are jigglier.<br /><br />- she also wanted to know about sex! why did she want to know about sex? i just saw <span style="font-style: italic;">bridesmaids</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">they gave my poor beloved sookie st. james a big fucking sandwich to eat off of an air marshall's body and wouldn't let her wear any makeup</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">and look just trust me a lot of people just have no idea what fat girls do in bed with us i think they think our dicks don't fit in their oversize epidemically obese pussies so they have to eat giant sandwiches off of us.</span><br /><br />- FAs are neither made out to be superheroes saving the world one jiggly fuck at a time nor are they made out to be losers and freaks! we come off as guys who date and fuck and talk about boobs like any other male obsessed with gurls! besides my unparalleled expertise at being lifelong turned on by fat girls i was brought in as sort of a "people curator" for the piece so i got to pick friends and acquaintances for her to also interview for the piece who wouldn't make me regret doing it.<br /><br />- i had many, many, many cool people to choose from who i wanted to represent what i'll offensively deem The Normal FA. but i picked: a remarkably intelligent and sexay NY couple i've been excellent friends with since before they were a couple, a couple other couples who seem witty and smart and committed (including one with a remarkably self-aware girl who wants to lose 200 lbs or so with an FA bf who's totally 100% cool with that because he already knew about her diet blog and she already knew he was an FA and <span style="font-style: italic;">then</span> they got engaged), a charming manslut who <span style="font-style: italic;">might</span> be closet but <span style="font-style: italic;">certainly</span> banged my ex, a 500 lb. non-webmodel with a gap in her teeth and a stutter who gets an exorbitant number of suitors. oh, and did i mention a DOCTOR.<br /><br />- 500 lb. "but walking" girl says her fave position is on top! in the fucking village voi--ok i'll stop<br /><br />- here's who was not represented in the piece: straight female FAs, fat guys, anyone LGBT (well, at least one of the interviewed ladies was bi to my know), anyone older than 7 billion. i'm sorry you were not represented in the piece. i'm not that sorry though, i know nothing about your experience and i do not feel qualified to represent you. i'm also pretty sure camille chose the straight/young/hip (mostly) white male archetype because what straight white males say is perceived as the majority rule and to subvert the subvertibles you have to find the most conventional people possible and then suddenly make them do other shit like love fat chicks all of a sudden out of nowhere cuz we're postmodern as fuck. if you don't think loving fat chicks is postmodern you're probably not postmodern and probably just modern. i think people are relatively more aware of fat acceptance among the LGBT community (DA BEARSSS) and it doesn't take a big stretch of logic to associate old people with fat people because most of the fat people the earth has seen in lasting relationships are old and married or settled or whatever (i assume this is how they are associated). straight/young/hip (mostly) white males being into fat chicks is the truly shocking story to the people who needed this article to tell them fat chicks get hollered at not just cuz they're funny. that's why it was the story. if you felt unrepresented, i encourage you for real to get the media's attention yourselves, tell your stories, create your own media if necessary. make films, hold film festivals, write essays, publish essay collections, start riotnotdietgrrrl bands. (please start riotnotdietgrrrl bands)<br /><br />just to recap, here are the following goals accomplished by the piece:<br />X girl i love almost on the cover of village voice<br />X population of nyc now aware that bellyrubs and stuff is on the table<br />X came out to some family members by default but they didn't act weird or go WHATABOUTHEALTH cuz distracted by accomplishment<br />X hollered at by two actresses, one 80s one-hit wonder, one ex-lover, one college classmate, two high school classmates (one of whom proudly stated her preference for short men!) and a few people like this kid:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Hey,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> I am a young guy who is an FA and I am having trouble coming out.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> I have been the subject of ridicule from some of my friends whilst trying to do it sort of undercover... if you get what I mean. I guess I am a pretty insecure person and I just need a way to tell them where they won't ridicule me. umm yeah.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> I have read a bit of your blog but not much and when I found it it was a godsend. I just feel so much better.</span><br /><br />X 500 lb girl allowed to be quoted as loving being on top in bed without being painted to look like a sideshow<br />X physician allowed to talk about health @ every size in a major paper and not painted cuckoo<br />X got to meet and be close and cool with camille dodero noted queen of the juggalos<br />X pissed off nick southall<br /><br />also i am relaunching this blog 2.0 on <a href="http://askaguywholikesfatchicks.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> - anyone good at customizing these fucking layouts?askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-84776862011820281782010-07-21T12:04:00.002-04:002010-07-21T12:17:36.399-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Over the past four years, I've been dating this guy on and off, and we've only had sex about three times, all of which have been when I was drunk. I always try everything i can to seduce him, but he wont sleep with me when I'm sober. He is a total FA, and is attracted to me, but he just won't be intimate with me. I spend a lot of time sleeping over at his house, and sleeping in the same bed, but it never goes past cuddling. Whenever I try to address the problem outside of the bedroom, he shuts me out and will ignore me for weeks. Other than sex, I've had a real connection with this guy, but I can't see moving any farther with him if I can't get any! Do you know why he would act this way, or how i should go about it?</span><br /><br />The three times you had sex were when <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span> were drunk? It would be more consistent with his shyness and refusal if it was <span style="font-style: italic;">he</span> only loosened up when he was wasted, which as you and I both know, is the mating call of the closeted FA.<br /><br />I guess there's too many holes here to plug for me to give you a definitive answer, but here are the questions: what makes you sure he's a "total FA" and attracted to you? Has he successfully had sex more than three drunk times with other girls (fat or thin)? Was anything else different about the circumstances where you were drunk? And what excuses does he give when you're trying to seduce him?<br /><br />Here's what it sounds like to me: any guy who ignores you for weeks if you confront him, leads you on and only has sex with you when you're drunk is a type-A asshole. Even if he began fucking you regularly and happily, this terrible communicator does not sound like a prize.<br /><br />If you sleep over that often and you really want an answer, he deserves to be confronted straight up: "Have you ever noticed we've only had sex when I was drunk? Why won't you take my come-ons seriously when I'm not? I want you to tell me if I'm wasting my time."<br /><br />But I'll answer that last one for you: yes.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-66172230020227875782010-07-12T02:00:00.000-04:002010-07-12T02:01:09.429-04:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">How big is your girlfriend, and do you love everything ELSE about her, as well? ;-)</span><br /><br />Big enough to know better than to date someone who doesn't love everything <span style="font-style: italic;">else</span> about her.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-56371221326158980392010-07-08T00:59:00.000-04:002010-07-08T01:00:19.849-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Honest question, I found this blog via a website for guys who like fat chicks, so why would I have to ask you a question about liking fat chicks?</span><br /><br />Some dudes have less (or different) experience than others. Some are in the closet. Some want to go back in the closet. Some are dealing with a tough situation with a fat girl who hates herself or wants to lose weight. Some dudes are cool around thin girls and their friends but go to a BBW event and get awkward or anxious.<br /><br />That's just off the top of my head what kind of advice just other straight male FAs might want to ask for. If you're cool and confident and you don't need the advice you might just want to read it or comment? I mean who knows, maybe someone will ask what girls I recommend masturbating to?askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-22535153734103486062010-06-30T18:32:00.001-04:002010-06-30T18:32:39.423-04:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">What were you doing during your break from your blog?</span><br /><br />Paid writing, eating Malaysian, fucking my girlfriend.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-65629795413689364022010-06-29T14:12:00.002-04:002010-06-29T14:15:01.949-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">As a guy who's not especially attracted to BBWs (I'm attracted to all kinds), I'm curious to see if FAs are exclusively attracted to BBWs and nobody else <span style="font-style: italic;">or</span> if you are attracted to thinner girls too?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-rellis10</span><br /><br />Very occasionally I spy a gorgeous one, but they don't really stand out to me in terms of physical attraction unless they're ultra-voluptuous or uniquely shaped. I'd imagine if I was inclined to date one she would fall into one of those categories. That said, having saturated myself with fat-fat-fat for over a very horny decade I do "notice" thin girls now more than I ever did. Chalk it up to getting boring in my old age.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-3891119579776197022010-06-28T09:11:00.004-04:002010-06-28T09:17:30.225-04:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">Do the people in your life disapprove of you dating fat girls? How do you deal with the criticism?</span><br /><br />No one I deal with on a regular basis at the age of 25 gives me shit, really. But I'm kind of in a bubble; I think my reputation precedes me by now (unfathomable to me ten years ago, when I was terrified people would "find out" and "use it against me"). Friends joke, occasionally a newb doesn't believe me--been accused of making it all up out of "low self-esteem" and my favorite, "just trying to be different" (cuffs please!). But for the most part, if anyone's thinking truly impolite thoughts, they're not talking. If they did, I'd probably "deal with the criticism" by not having my brain, heart and dick reprogrammed by crowdsourcing and continuing to exist as I am. Maybe when I get older people will start giving me the "she's gonna die" spiel, as much of the Western world feels is their moral mission.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-4304108101327734492010-06-24T07:19:00.000-04:002010-06-24T07:20:02.067-04:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">What is the biggest/heaviest woman you have been with and did you have difficulty making love to her?</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">-Kelly Kyle</span><br /><br />She was over 500 lbs and I don't recall any difficulty. I've had difficulty with women smaller than that, though.<br /><br />Lots of not just physical but mental stuff factors into the so-called "difficulty" of fat sex besides size: shape, experience, well- or not-well-exercised muscles, flexibility, creativity...though anyone who's ever had a fat girl on top could probably attest that they seem to gain 300 lbs. immediately afterward.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-27618019504826257732010-06-23T05:22:00.002-04:002010-06-23T11:04:02.542-04:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">I'm a girlfriend of an FA. I came across his porn collection a while ago, and saw that he has pictures of girls who are barely chubby, to really fat. My weight's in the 200s and I'm feeling a bit insecure. Any words of advice?</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">-Mary</span><br /><br />No one but the superrich has the time, money, social situation, luck, callousness and/or charisma required to make all their fantasies come true. And even the fantasies of the superrich are often forced into the closet to protect the fortune that rests on his/her image.<br /><br />What I'm saying is, if I have a thing for huge-breasted black girls and I have a thing for pear-shaped white girls, and I'm a strict monogamist, if I end up dating one of those kinds of girls, the other fantasy is going to remain a fantasy. I'm going to jag more often to the kind I can't have, right?<br /><br />While there are plenty of guys who will only date (or masturbate) to one kind of person, and a decidedly smaller amount of guys who will only masturbate to images of their own partner, I think logic states that if someone already has something great going, it leaves the realm of fantasy, becomes a reality, and they're going to spend their fantasy time with something else instead, because the reality (i.e. access to your sexy self) is now inevitable.<br /><br />Words of advice? Don't worry about it. And as a human whose body, like all of ours, is always changing, be thankful that he appears to enjoy ladies of all different sizes.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-87553130465572234752010-06-16T08:59:00.001-04:002010-06-16T08:59:55.453-04:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">An ex (let's call him evil ex) told me once that sex with me was "great but not as good as it would be...." I asked, "why" and he explained that he couldn't always get all of the way in because of my fat... that regardless of position he just felt like he wasn't getting enough contact, I guess...</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;"> I didn't probe more and it has pretty much warped me. I've not been in a long term sexual relationship since then... and that's been about 7 years since we last were together and 8 years since he told me that little factoid.</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;"> Any info?<br /><br /></span>Not getting in all the way should be a problem for <i>you</i>, not him, if he knows what to do with a wet penis. Anyway, you regard him as "evil," so don't take your cues from this piece of shit, especially not eight years later. He had issues with your body, someone else will not. Start looking, by all means, and don't quit until you find someone who's sexually compatible.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-48839580712501848992010-06-15T02:14:00.002-04:002010-06-15T02:42:17.644-04:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">My boyfriend likes fat chicks. Very fat chicks. I'm fat, but I'm still much smaller than most girls he's dated (I am about 200 lbs smaller than some of his exes). He's into me physically, but should I be worried that he'll get bored of my size?</span><br /><br />On the contrary, I'd say you're in good hands seeing how unlike others in this situation he's actually <span style="font-style: italic;">dated</span> the girls you're worried are his ideal. Without knowing much more, like about how long you've dated (re: if you're his rebound from another relationship), I think it's safe to assume he's experienced size across the board and picked you over someone else. It's possible he still digs the huge gals but maybe has developed less patience for the lifestyle a supersized girlfriend requires, but these are 'what if's. Unless you have a good reason to believe otherwise, if he's dating you, he's into you.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-77779853618720175122010-06-14T13:54:00.002-04:002010-06-14T14:00:15.548-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">My esteemed colleague in chub lovin’, Is it fair to assume that foreign FAs are drawn to America because of the higher concentration of larger ladies and that fact that numerous webmodels reside there?</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-Christov</span><br /><br />Probably, though take my word for it that Canada is an underrated province of gorgeous fat girls. America may have more of them but America's also more stigmatized with hate and fear; you're lucky if one in five American fat girls is comfortable or confident about her body (or willing to dress it in a way wherein attractiveness doesn't equal modesty). In fact, you're lucky if <span style="font-style: italic;">any</span> American girl is comfortable or confident about her body.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-19837025410560253432010-06-11T10:03:00.002-04:002010-06-11T10:05:18.780-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I like fat chicks too, and I've dated several, ranging from barely chubby to over 400 pounds. However, even among those who consider themselves BBW, I've yet to meet one who was really confident or comfortable with herself. Why do you suppose it is that some women who are knee-deep in fat acceptance culture STILL don't really accept their bodies?</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-Studly Bo</span><br /><br />Because fat acceptance culture isn't the culture at large. In the real world, it sucks to be fat, and no one, not even thin people, have nerves of steel. Fat acceptance culture is great for letting people know there's an option of acceptance, that there are people besides your own self-confidence who will validate your beauty, that there are men and women who are physically attracted to you or desire your body type. Sadly that only goes so far.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-41184087603444589702010-06-07T19:57:00.003-04:002010-06-07T19:59:06.636-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">How much does fat distribution play into your attraction to fat girls? (i.e. are you into it for the big tits or big asses)</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-anon</span><br /><br />As long as it looks good really. I "discovered" what I was into while looking for progressively bigger and bigger tits online at 12 or 13. Then realized I wanted to see everything big, not just tits. At first (and I think this is true of many FAs) I wanted everything on ideal fat girl bodies to be "perfect," like that big bellies had to be solid, perfect spheres. But over the years my idea of perfection shifted; all the "nuances" of fat girls fit into my mind's logic of attractiveness - that more conventional curves were only logically supplemented by double chins, elbow dimples, hanging stuff. Fat bodies are so unique, in texture, softness, shape - I'm not sure guys into thin girls contend daily with puzzles like double vs. single bellies. The nice thing about this is some girls have big everything (which looks great) and some girls are only big in one or two places, which are accentuated by her being smaller elsewhere (which also looks great). Right now I'm obsessed with my girlfriend's big thighs. Tomorrow I might zero in on something else.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-15873025347570898162009-10-09T21:12:00.001-04:002009-10-09T21:12:45.461-04:00conflict of interest alert<a href="http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/archives/2009/10/interview_beth_1.php">spoke</a> to beth ditto about music then fataskaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-55824156772563448882009-07-03T03:15:00.005-04:002009-07-03T03:47:49.354-04:00<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Do thin/average/athletic girls do anything for you?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-Anonymous</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">How much does fat factor into whether you like a girl or not?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-Just Ethel</span><br /><br /></span><span>About as much as being thin factors into how much most guys like a girl I suppose. It's sort of like being around other members of your gender if you're a zero on the Kinsey scale</span><span>; it's not that you're revolted or find them unattractive</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><span>so much as it won't even occur to you to think about them sexually at all. With exceptions of course; even "normal" guys fuck a fatty now and then - and don't hate it. A Kinsey zero myself I occasionally notice an exceptionally attractive dude (usually named <a href="http://www.rhettmiller.com/">Rhett Miller</a>) and I occasionally crush on an exceptionally pretty thin girl (does <a href="http://www.nigella.com/">Nigella Lawson</a> count?). I've even dated a few.<br /><br />Even if the girl was as stunning as a one-chinned organism ever looks, at this point in my life I'd question the long-term prospects of such a relationship. With a sex life devoid of fat asses, I reckon I'd start coveting everyone I see leaving an Ashley Stewart or Wal-Mart. And probably grow to resent the thin girl from standing in the way of my passion/preference/perversion.<br /><br />And another issue: I identify as a fat admirer and I'm out about it to family, friends, and the various colleagues I'll be tweeting this update to when we go live. I wouldn't be able to just fake being something I'm not, or stop hanging out with my fat community friends, or stop going to BBW events (or stop writing this blog for that matter). And this hypothetical thin girl would have to be extraordinarily understanding to tolerate her boyfriend's participation with a culture she's not obligated to put up with, not to mention the occasional 400+ lb. houseguest. What girl, thin or otherwise, would want to be with someone knowing his attraction is despite her body? And that everyone he knows is aware as well? </span><span>Sure I find thin girls attractive. But that pursuit in the long-term would be unlikely indeed.<br /></span>askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-91513397979752756762009-06-13T14:18:00.007-04:002009-06-22T04:49:34.623-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I want fat sex. I want my jiggly bits rubbed and squished and fondled sexually. He knows I'm the most frisky after he gives me all-over massages but it's not sexual for him, it's the whole nurture-love thing. I feel a lot of my body is ignored. And at 5' and 260lbs, that's a lot!<br /><br />So I've turned to posting on FA-focused image boards to get my "fat sex" fantasies out and make a little money on the side (sometimes). I just don't know how to describe fat sex to my boyfriend. I don't want to cheat on him to get what I want and feel I need and I would hate it if he was just going through the motions.<br /><br />My question is- is there a solution? A half-way point? A way to try to get him to become an FA. He's always feeding me fattening foods (and making sure I eat healthy too so he's not a "feeder") but it makes me think there's an FA inside him that he might not even know is there. He claims he gets me these treats to make me happy but I think it's so I don't lose too much weight. I'm on a medicine that keeps me pretty much at this weight and while he encourages me to get down to 200 (still big) I have a feeling he doesn't want me to go below that. I mention 100 lbs as something a doc recommended and he almost seems repulsed by the idea.<br /><br />I think there's an FA in him. He's no closet case. We are very affectionate in public and he proudly announces me as his girlfriend at every opportunity. And introduces me as such. I want to bring out his inner FA if there is one that I think there is. Any suggestions?<br /><br />-Big Fat Sexy Kitty</span><br /><br />Not sexual for him, eh? That's a pretty lousy reason to not grant your lady's requests in bed. And ironically enough, the stuff he's turning down--like pleasuring himself between your rolls--would be more directly erogenous for him than you. He sounds like he needs a clue, so show him a few. Image boards; great. Call him over to the screen and point to some direct diagrams you want him to reenact with you on the floor. If you don't speak up, your assumptions will only lead to paranoia and make you nuts, like your silly worry that by granting your wishes he'd only be going through the motions (in plenty of cases, partners will begin to get turned on themselves to activity they observe their partner getting off on so enthusiastically). being upfront with the dude is best. You <span style="font-style: italic;">need</span> this stuff in bed, you're rationalizing Ways Not to Cheat, he'd probably better start doing stuff that's "not sexual for him."<br /><br />This said...you're being wishful and reading way too hard into a guy who doesn't sound much like an FA. Feeding you fattening <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> healthy foods? Isn't that...both kinds of food? He prefers them over 100 and under 200? Isn't that...most guys? Acknowledging his girlfriend's existence in public? Isn't that...anyone who's not an asshole retard? I don't think you're with an FA, dude. I think you're with a nice guy who appreciates you regardless. He needs to be more attentive to the spots you're directing his hands (you <span style="font-style: italic;">are</span> directing his hands, right?), but you can't turn him into something he's not.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-42467605914787715042009-05-10T22:51:00.007-04:002009-05-12T04:05:37.403-04:00Polled 134 women in the BBW community on "What's the worst trait a male FA could have?" and here's how the results stacked out:<br /><br />Approximately 39% said: Closeted (avoids introducing you to friends and family or possibly seeing you in public at all)<br />17% said: Size criticism (telling women they're too small or not big enough) <br />15% said: Creepy (sends you unsolicited misspelled or inappropriate messages, sometimes repeatedly) <br />11% said: Promiscuity (slept with - or tries to sleep with - everyone you know) <br />5% said: Unsatisfactory penis size (just to put the boot on the other foot)<br />5% said: Other (something not mentioned here)<br />4% said: Poor fatiquette (walks too fast when you're out or selects restaurants with tiny booths) <br />1% said: Lets self become unattractive (please choose this only if it's the person's own fault) <br /><br />The most alarming stat was the that last one, it doesn't bode well for the stereotype of fat girl desperation that voters would put up with their partner not taking care of themselves or maintaining the body their other half loves. But by a landslide - thank fuck - 39% are not so desperate that they'd knowingly put up with an FA who'd hide them from friends and family. As one reader puts it, "closet cases are the worst by far. The rest are avoidable/ignorable...closet isn't always as obvious until it's too late. Closet cases aren't always 'come over my house at midnight to fuck so I don't have to be seen in public with you.' Sometimes its more like, all the sudden you realize it's been 10 dates and you haven't met any of their friends yet."<br /><br />I pegged creepiness higher but I guess those guys don't really make it to the dating stage do they (though a few do). Size criticism of women came in higher than expected and doesn't quite jive with the 1% of gals who'll put up with however their man looks. Really, ladies, you have the right to a preference just like we do, and we use it, trust me. Doesn't excuse us telling you how you should look to suit us though. Dudes need to reject more politely, not matter-of-factly tell someone to gain a few, which is just as obnoxious as telling someone to lose some first, fat-positive subculture or no fat-positive subculture.<br /><br />Some of the comments for 'other':<br /><br />"For me, the worst personal thing I've come up with for guys is the whole fact that they want to live online and not in real life. I have no desire to just 'talk' about sexy stuff and/or meet ups with people, I want to do it, and yet the few guys who have contacted me only want to live in some fantasy land that stays on the net."<br /><br />"Someone I know told me recently that one of the things that annoy them is the number of people online who talk a good game about being a FA, and yet this all exists in their head, as they've never actually dated a fat person before. They're like 'put up or shut up,' and I have to say, I agree. I don't mind staying in fantasy land if someone is up front about it, but why so many keep up the illusion that one day they'll move from make-believe to reality is beyond me."<br /><br />"Has anyone ever done a study to determine where FAs place in terms of mean salary? I'm guessing it would be below average, sadly. Most (not all, but most) financially successful men care obsessively about image, and would be most vulnerable to peer pressure about the type of women they 'should' be worth. Poorer men are often more independent, sooner to flout conventional rules and social strictures -- but that tends not to advance their careers."<br /><br />"The type that bugs me most is the one who is so completely ruled by his 'FA-ness' that he can't focus on anything else - everything revolves around how much he loves fat and the effects/consequences of it....to the point of mind-numbing boredom that makes me want to jump out a window. When EVERYTHING is about my being fat. All conversation, all sex, all activities. I'm a person who happens to be fat. Fat does not define who I am."askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-87137956747701971452009-04-02T02:56:00.006-04:002009-04-02T04:52:37.157-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Is there any difference between 'thin' sex and 'fat' sex? I ask because one of the people who'd previously <a href="http://askaguywholikesfatchicks.blogspot.com/2009/01/why-are-bbws-expected-to-be-okay-and.html">posed a question</a> said they enjoyed one over the other. Don't thin people shag like fat ones do??</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-Tau</span><br /><br />Some female readers are already on the case: "To me, the difference between 'regular' sex and fat sex lies in the focus. A BBW and a non-FA partner probably engage in typical sex where he focuses on her breasts, hips, butt and avoids her big belly and other wobbly parts."<br /><br />As opposed to?<br /><br />"One word: frottage. Okay, two words: fat frottage."<br /><br />They're both right. The difference is whether or not you choose to ignore a great amount of your partner's body in bed or embrace it, which could mean anything from belly rubs to well, belly sex.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-39795065822998607872009-03-31T05:40:00.001-04:002009-03-31T05:40:13.885-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I know it's just a simple question but... Do you have any tips for someone who told their girlfriend about their sexuality from the get-go and wants to convince her that it's actually not that important to him? I've covered the "yes, I'm serious" step, it's just that it's not something I want her to dwell upon and be self-conscious about. Thanks!</span><div style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br /></div><div style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-thedetails</div><br />Well, how's she taking it? I think you're in the clear unless you know, you dwell on it. You let her know and now it's up to her if she has any questions. If it really concerns you that she barely identify you with it, be warm and receptive if she brings it up but otherwise leave it be. If she's actually acting self-conscious, demonstrate in non-verbal ways that you're serious. Protect her waist with your arm. Don't neglect her fatty parts in bed. Be attentive to her reactions and adjust your behavior if she gets weird about it. And just to tack it on here again, "don't be creepy" is always a good rule of thumb.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-36814927374472613062009-03-30T01:02:00.004-04:002009-03-30T21:20:47.595-04:00<p style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I'm not on the cusp. I'm one hundred percent a fat girl. <span> </span>As far as I know I've never been with a guy who identifies as an FA, bit I have known several and am good friends with a handful, to the point where we've discussed their taste in women. Here's my question: do you think that there's possibly a bit of a gap in the continuum, between like 'Fat' and 'FAT.', where a girl is just frankly too fat for any 'regular' guy (non-FA), but completely not fat enough for an FA to ever be interested? Because at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure that's where I reside. <span> </span>Bodily speaking I've really got all the parts - huge belly, big old ham thighs, backrolls, the works. But altogether as a package I just fail to take up as much room as any of the fat women I know to whom FAs flock like swallows to Capistrano. I've even asked FAs whom I know if they would ever think I'm attractive (awkward, I realize, but less so in context), and whether it's deflection or not the answer I always get is: "You've got a great personality (etc), but I like women who are larger than you. Sorry! *noogie* Let's go get a beer, sport." Now I know the 'great personality' line is pretty much guyspeak for 'your face gives me dry heaves but you also tell funny jokes sometimes', but focusing on the fat aspect:...</p> <p style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Just asking: as a guy who likes fat chicks and who presumably networks with other guys who do, honestly: is there any hope for me? Because if there is, I know it's definitely not emanating from the non-FA end of the spectrum. Again, I am just way, way too fat for any of them. The FA end is the one I'm holding out hope for. </p> <p style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">With that said, however, feel free to crush that hope if necessary.<br /></p><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-Fat? Fat.<br /></span><br />I hope this blog doesn't turn into people just emailing to ask "is there hope for me?" because a) I don't know any of you and b) I could never tell anyone to just stop looking, you're hopeless. If I knew someone who was hopeless, I'd be able to identify why they're hopeless (body odor, prior sex offenses, sociopathic behavior) and give it to them straight, provided they won't kill me.<br /><br />No need to crush that hope; there's not actually someone for everyone but that doesn't put you on one side or the other. I don't know if your face will make me dry-heave because I've never seen it, but your email displays a fair amount of personality so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you just Haven't Found One Yet.<br /><br />That said, some of info you gave me is confusing or conflicted: you've never been with anyone who identifies as an FA but you also stated you're too fat for non-FAs. Because you said "as far as I know" and not "I've never had a date" I'm going to assume you've successfully dated a few non-FAs, actually! Then the issue of your size...I don't know what size you are exactly, but left to guess, I doubt the universe lined it up so you're at some one-in-a-million exact height/weight cutoff for FAs/non-FAs. More likely you just haven't found one yet.<br /><br />So here are some suggestions. If you are indeed positive it's your size or shape that's unattractive, why not try toning exercises, not to slim down, but maybe to make your fat more shapely? I know people in the 300-400 lb. range who work out to retain their shape. I've never exercised in my life except for the occasional crunch, but I think squats shape your butt and push-ups do your chest. But before you do that even, if you have as good platonic relationships with your FA friends as you say, grant them amnesty (if you promise not to ask them out) and ask them if it's your face or some weird mole you haven't told me about or what. It's possible you're just too small for them but I find it hard to believe based on your history that non-FAs are off the table entirely if you're really <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> not-fat-enough. Oh, and keep looking.<br /><br />EDIT: this reader has identified herself to me and I assure that she's perfectly cute. Either looking in the wrong places or she must smell <span style="font-style: italic;">horrible</span>.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-16824662306475862232009-03-26T16:50:00.003-04:002009-03-26T17:36:42.758-04:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">So, here's a question: how much of the fat attraction is a taboo response to the 'obesity epidemic' rhetoric and the whole puritan hangup on pleasure/leisure in US society?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> BTW, I'm making no claim one way or the other about this, just curious to see how you interpret this hypothesis.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-B</span><br /><br />This subject fascinates me greatly and I'm interested at writing about it at length in the future, but here's the tip of the iceberg: this question is a big asterisk in my feelings on the fetish/preference debate. Shitty, yeah, but allow me to wax theoretical. Because I do believe that besides the internet, the other component of exponential growth in the fat community is that fat is more extremely, violently taboo in 2009 than it ever has. In the preceding decade, anorexia and bulimia and "heroin chic" and diet pills entered the mainstream lexicon. The 1990s also desensitized my generation to so-called taboo "sex," with the internet the final nail in the adult-filter coffin, resulting in the availability of the scantily clad female body everywhere from magazine shelves to MySpace. Except all the viewable sex is thin and fit, and visible body fat has been relegated to pornography in itself. I don't think the cumulative rise in the number of self-identified fat admirers since is coincidental, though plenty of fat admirers would disagree and claim to just like what they like. The desensitizing of thin sexuality has given fatness a notoriety that causes closet FAs to take thin wives as a cover from their families, private sector colleagues and themselves (any number of fatties I know could tell you stories of finding out they're the other woman).<br /><br />I'm also interested in researching the even more preposterous claim of my own that beauty is cyclical; that fat is making a comeback very, very slowly for different reasons than when it was first popular a hundred-or-so years ago for representing power and wealth. Being fat in 2009 supposedly represents the lower class, dovetailing with unfortunate perceptions of blacks and Latinos and a base "consumer" culture that you can supposedly avoid if you're white and can afford a Bally's membership or digest <span style="font-style: italic;">Fast Food Nation</span>. But black culture is the most imitated in America and around the late 90s, Latin culture (and J.Lo - famous for her unconventional body - in particular) has become a marketable obsession as well. As is the wont of a world where the privileged obsess over the unattainable credibility and freedom of the less so, it's not entirely foolish to suggest fat could be next.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-59812021592479443942009-03-07T22:27:00.007-05:002009-03-07T23:57:25.749-05:00<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Hi,</span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> I’m one of those on-the-cusp, chubby-but-not-huge girls and I had my first and so far only encounter with an Fat Admirer in the past year. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">You know those jokes people tell that aren’t really jokes? I’ve kidded around with friends since adolescence that I’d die and go to heaven if I met a fat fetishist. Deep down, I secretly knew that I wasn’t kidding, although I really hoped that I was. Mostly, I did not want to admit to myself that I’d been harboring desires that might be deemed weird or, worse yet, might be excruciatingly difficult to satisfy, given the relative paucity of FAs in this world. Anyway, I was forced to acknowledge my secret predilection recently when I finally met an FA, whose proclivities were initially unknown to me until he had me in his bedroom. This FA introduced me to the concept of “fat sex,” which seemingly detonated all of the pleasure-centers in my brain at once. I felt something click, so to speak, as if I’d been waiting my whole life for someone to want to be squashed by my big ass, rub up against my flabby tummy, squeeze all my squishier bits, and so forth. Long story short: I think I might be an admirer of Fat Admirers, or fetishist of fat fetishists.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">How do I meet more Fat Admirers, especially ones in my age range (early-to-mid-20s) and geographical region? The internet? Super-secret in-person enclaves?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Since my time with this FA, I’ve only met a succession of guys who find me attractive because they do not consider me prohibitively fat, or who are willing to overlook or ignore my fat because I have some conventionally attractive traits (i.e. I’m pretty, intelligent, and have big tits). That is to say – business as usual. I’ve tried having “thin sex” again but it’s no longer satisfying to me now that I’ve experienced what I apparently prefer. Asking my “normal” partners to replace or supplement “thin sex” with “fat sex” has also proven to be a futile endeavor. Guys either get really freaked out by what I'm requesting -- even when my suggestions are fairly innocuous -- or they honor my requests but are obviously just "going through the motions" out of a sense of obligation.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Should I gain a ton of weight to repulse more normal guys and allure more chubby chasers?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">My questions have been a little sex-obsessed. I should mention that I’d be even more interested in dating a Fat Admirer than merely hooking up with one if I happened to meet the right person.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Best,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Frustrated Chub</span><br /><br />You shouldn't have to gain "a ton of weight" to get the attention of more chubby chasers, FC. If you found one already, and you found this blog, you can find more. But definitely go with your instincts and ignore the dudes you'd be settling for. It's awfully nice of them to look past your on-the-cuspness, but you clearly long for passion--which you described as a detonation point--over politeness, which you noted an "obligation" and "business as usual." Keep doing what you're doing honestly, you sound determined and not held back by any delusions about your body or the men you've been finding.<br /><br />The only advice I can offer (not that dissimilar to advice I offered a good friend with a similar query this week), is to be more shrewd in your pursuit. Put in your personal ads that an FA is mandatory and list the requirements you said above and all their squeezing and squashing detail. Craigslist is as <a href="http://newyork.craigslist.org/search/m4w?query=bbw&minAsk=min&maxAsk=max">teeming with FAs</a> as anywhere else, though I can't attest to their quality, and for fat-oriented sites, the <a href="http://dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/">Dimensions Forums</a> (check the Events forum) and pornier <a href="http://fat-forums.com/">Fat Forums</a> are thriving communities that generally weed out pricks better than others.<br /><br />And if you do end up on a date with a polite non-FA, put him up to the challenge. Most of my female buddies can identify unquestionable FAs in their life who simply haven't researched the terminology on the internet, and clueless is better than closet. Why would they agree to a date with someone they don't want to squeeze? You may well be mistaking a good 'un's freaking out for shyness, though prudes are just as plentiful as noobs. One thing though: don't call them fat fetishists, which will freak 'em out more. Good luck.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571509939428152996.post-73905007364392101962009-02-26T02:44:00.003-05:002009-02-26T02:49:30.495-05:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">I'm a fellow FA, and my girlfriend is right on the edge of normal and plus-sized. We've been together a few years and I'm getting pretty sure that she's the one, but she really resents the fact that I'm an FA. It's an issue you touched on in a previous response: the "Am I fat enough?" issue. I find all kinds of fat chicks from a little chubby to really huge attractive, but she assumes that bigger is always better since I'm an FA. Now granted I do have weightgain fantasies regarding her but that's just my lower brain's idea of "best possible thing that could happen without concern for real life consequences." We've had a frank and honest discussion about the issue but I think she's still really uneasy about it, and despite everything probably (still) thinks I'll leave her the minute I find a gigantic woman or something. Any advice?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">-Anon</span><br /><br />If she resents you being an FA, she probably resents being on the cusp of plus-sized even more. I've been in your shoes and from my experience, the bigger girls who long ago accepted being fat have had less qualms about staying that way (and weightgain fantasies in particular) than the on-the-fence girls who just know they'll be just purrrfect once they skirt those meddlesome 20, 30 lbs. You can either give her trust issues time to dissolve and see if she's still neurotic years from now, or throw up your hands sooner.<br /><br />Note to girlfriend about said weightgain fantasies: when someone chooses to date you, it's assumed he or she likes you at that weight. Weightgain is not a "fulfillable" fetish, you don't reach XX pounds and boyfriend is cured of his kink, so girlfriend needs to accept that 1) she'll be doing her share of fantasy work and 2) you don't actually need her to change.<br /><br />Normally I'd say that she also needs to accept that you identify as a Fat Admirer. But being mid-sized is a tough spot; if you were to bring her to BBW events she'd feel out of place and paranoid, and she could be understandably poky about even being referred to as "fat" if she's not actually. Don't routinely rub in something she could see as a deficiency on her part. If you're choosing to date her rather than a full-blown fatty, take a break from full-blown Fat Admiration.askaguywholikesfatchickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411347596512998341noreply@blogger.com0