I want fat sex. I want my jiggly bits rubbed and squished and fondled sexually. He knows I'm the most frisky after he gives me all-over massages but it's not sexual for him, it's the whole nurture-love thing. I feel a lot of my body is ignored. And at 5' and 260lbs, that's a lot!
So I've turned to posting on FA-focused image boards to get my "fat sex" fantasies out and make a little money on the side (sometimes). I just don't know how to describe fat sex to my boyfriend. I don't want to cheat on him to get what I want and feel I need and I would hate it if he was just going through the motions.
My question is- is there a solution? A half-way point? A way to try to get him to become an FA. He's always feeding me fattening foods (and making sure I eat healthy too so he's not a "feeder") but it makes me think there's an FA inside him that he might not even know is there. He claims he gets me these treats to make me happy but I think it's so I don't lose too much weight. I'm on a medicine that keeps me pretty much at this weight and while he encourages me to get down to 200 (still big) I have a feeling he doesn't want me to go below that. I mention 100 lbs as something a doc recommended and he almost seems repulsed by the idea.
I think there's an FA in him. He's no closet case. We are very affectionate in public and he proudly announces me as his girlfriend at every opportunity. And introduces me as such. I want to bring out his inner FA if there is one that I think there is. Any suggestions?
-Big Fat Sexy Kitty
Not sexual for him, eh? That's a pretty lousy reason to not grant your lady's requests in bed. And ironically enough, the stuff he's turning down--like pleasuring himself between your rolls--would be more directly erogenous for him than you. He sounds like he needs a clue, so show him a few. Image boards; great. Call him over to the screen and point to some direct diagrams you want him to reenact with you on the floor. If you don't speak up, your assumptions will only lead to paranoia and make you nuts, like your silly worry that by granting your wishes he'd only be going through the motions (in plenty of cases, partners will begin to get turned on themselves to activity they observe their partner getting off on so enthusiastically). being upfront with the dude is best. You need this stuff in bed, you're rationalizing Ways Not to Cheat, he'd probably better start doing stuff that's "not sexual for him."
This said...you're being wishful and reading way too hard into a guy who doesn't sound much like an FA. Feeding you fattening and healthy foods? Isn't that...both kinds of food? He prefers them over 100 and under 200? Isn't that...most guys? Acknowledging his girlfriend's existence in public? Isn't that...anyone who's not an asshole retard? I don't think you're with an FA, dude. I think you're with a nice guy who appreciates you regardless. He needs to be more attentive to the spots you're directing his hands (you are directing his hands, right?), but you can't turn him into something he's not.