Hi, I’m one of those on-the-cusp, chubby-but-not-huge girls and I had my first and so far only encounter with an Fat Admirer in the past year.

You know those jokes people tell that aren’t really jokes? I’ve kidded around with friends since adolescence that I’d die and go to heaven if I met a fat fetishist. Deep down, I secretly knew that I wasn’t kidding, although I really hoped that I was. Mostly, I did not want to admit to myself that I’d been harboring desires that might be deemed weird or, worse yet, might be excruciatingly difficult to satisfy, given the relative paucity of FAs in this world. Anyway, I was forced to acknowledge my secret predilection recently when I finally met an FA, whose proclivities were initially unknown to me until he had me in his bedroom. This FA introduced me to the concept of “fat sex,” which seemingly detonated all of the pleasure-centers in my brain at once. I felt something click, so to speak, as if I’d been waiting my whole life for someone to want to be squashed by my big ass, rub up against my flabby tummy, squeeze all my squishier bits, and so forth. Long story short: I think I might be an admirer of Fat Admirers, or fetishist of fat fetishists.

How do I meet more Fat Admirers, especially ones in my age range (early-to-mid-20s) and geographical region? The internet? Super-secret in-person enclaves?

Since my time with this FA, I’ve only met a succession of guys who find me attractive because they do not consider me prohibitively fat, or who are willing to overlook or ignore my fat because I have some conventionally attractive traits (i.e. I’m pretty, intelligent, and have big tits). That is to say – business as usual. I’ve tried having “thin sex” again but it’s no longer satisfying to me now that I’ve experienced what I apparently prefer. Asking my “normal” partners to replace or supplement “thin sex” with “fat sex” has also proven to be a futile endeavor. Guys either get really freaked out by what I'm requesting -- even when my suggestions are fairly innocuous -- or they honor my requests but are obviously just "going through the motions" out of a sense of obligation.

Should I gain a ton of weight to repulse more normal guys and allure more chubby chasers?

My questions have been a little sex-obsessed. I should mention that I’d be even more interested in dating a Fat Admirer than merely hooking up with one if I happened to meet the right person.

Best,

Frustrated Chub

You shouldn't have to gain "a ton of weight" to get the attention of more chubby chasers, FC. If you found one already, and you found this blog, you can find more. But definitely go with your instincts and ignore the dudes you'd be settling for. It's awfully nice of them to look past your on-the-cuspness, but you clearly long for passion--which you described as a detonation point--over politeness, which you noted an "obligation" and "business as usual." Keep doing what you're doing honestly, you sound determined and not held back by any delusions about your body or the men you've been finding.

The only advice I can offer (not that dissimilar to advice I offered a good friend with a similar query this week), is to be more shrewd in your pursuit. Put in your personal ads that an FA is mandatory and list the requirements you said above and all their squeezing and squashing detail. Craigslist is as teeming with FAs as anywhere else, though I can't attest to their quality, and for fat-oriented sites, the Dimensions Forums (check the Events forum) and pornier Fat Forums are thriving communities that generally weed out pricks better than others.

And if you do end up on a date with a polite non-FA, put him up to the challenge. Most of my female buddies can identify unquestionable FAs in their life who simply haven't researched the terminology on the internet, and clueless is better than closet. Why would they agree to a date with someone they don't want to squeeze? You may well be mistaking a good 'un's freaking out for shyness, though prudes are just as plentiful as noobs. One thing though: don't call them fat fetishists, which will freak 'em out more. Good luck.