Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Over the past four years, I've been dating this guy on and off, and we've only had sex about three times, all of which have been when I was drunk. I always try everything i can to seduce him, but he wont sleep with me when I'm sober. He is a total FA, and is attracted to me, but he just won't be intimate with me. I spend a lot of time sleeping over at his house, and sleeping in the same bed, but it never goes past cuddling. Whenever I try to address the problem outside of the bedroom, he shuts me out and will ignore me for weeks. Other than sex, I've had a real connection with this guy, but I can't see moving any farther with him if I can't get any! Do you know why he would act this way, or how i should go about it?

The three times you had sex were when you were drunk? It would be more consistent with his shyness and refusal if it was he only loosened up when he was wasted, which as you and I both know, is the mating call of the closeted FA.

I guess there's too many holes here to plug for me to give you a definitive answer, but here are the questions: what makes you sure he's a "total FA" and attracted to you? Has he successfully had sex more than three drunk times with other girls (fat or thin)? Was anything else different about the circumstances where you were drunk? And what excuses does he give when you're trying to seduce him?

Here's what it sounds like to me: any guy who ignores you for weeks if you confront him, leads you on and only has sex with you when you're drunk is a type-A asshole. Even if he began fucking you regularly and happily, this terrible communicator does not sound like a prize.

If you sleep over that often and you really want an answer, he deserves to be confronted straight up: "Have you ever noticed we've only had sex when I was drunk? Why won't you take my come-ons seriously when I'm not? I want you to tell me if I'm wasting my time."

But I'll answer that last one for you: yes.


  1. :( The guy who answers these questions is hands down the hottest thing ever...and Im a skinny chick..

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  3. I completely agree! Beware of this type, don't be so sold on the assumption that he's "a total FA" that you ignore his actions that make him, "a total F(bleep) A(bleep)!" So if he's leaving you with questions, ask yourself this question,"do his actions make him a FA or an FA?!"

  4. Isn't it possible that this guy just likes her as a friend, enjoys her company and their intimate relationship, but just doesn't want a sexual relationship with her? Drunken hookups are often just that, and don't necessarily indicate any kind of real attraction.

  5. Just a thought.. maybe he likes you drunk because he figures that any insecurities you may have would be alleviated by the alcohol? Maybe he's assuming you're insecure because you're fat.. That being said, he does sound like a total waste of time (and a total douche).. unless you're planning on becoming an alcoholic..

  6. Lol @ Lanesha's comment about this girl becoming a total alcoholic smh.....settle is a bad word this girl likes him more than he likes her. When folks tell things they never tell everything for various reasons. What is this dude getting out of kicking it with her? Trust me he can get a few giggles etc from anywhere. If you're doing ANYTHING (monetary or not ) STOP!

  7. excuse me for being blunt here but i'm pretty sure you need to fuck him off.
    4 years of your life for a guy who has fucked you 3 times, is apparently attracted to you BUT can't be intimate and then doesn't talk to you for weeks?!?
    if this were your friend telling you a story similar to yours and you were looking inside her life from the outside what would you tell her to do?

    let him go...

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  9. There's just something vwrong with it, do you really want to considerate something more with a guy whom only have sex with you when you're drunk, what are you gonna do? Get drunk everytime you want sex? That's no good honey, from one girl to another, next! Pd: I'm fat too